Facing the Consequences

Today I’m feeling the need to document the negative after-effects of my over-indulgence in ice cream two days ago.

The damage on the scale is the least thing on my mind. I know that my normal exercise can minimize the damage there.

However, I need to write this down so that the next time I am tempted to binge on junk food (or anything, for that matter), I can recall how awful it made me feel after the first 15 minutes or so.

• My normal healthy foods look very unappealing and unsatisfying, especially veggies. I can manage meat and potatoes and even my breakfast oatmeal and fruit, but it takes me a couple of meals to be able to face veggies, even the ones I normally enjoy.

• I feel worthless and guilty and just plain stupid for being such a glutton.

• I am more and more fearful of losing my control and little by little gaining back the weight I have lost and with it all the problems (health and other) I thought I had put behind me.

• I feel tired and depressed and not able to get out of my chair to do anything but read and watch TV.

• I don’t feel like exercising at all.

• I feel so overwhelmed by all the things I have to do and the difficult decisions that need to be made—especially in regard to the junk in the basement I have to clear out—that I spend more time sitting and fretting about it than actually getting around to doing it.

You know, it’s just not worth it. I have to learn to be satisfied with a healthy lifestyle. That may mean occasional indulgences, but it doesn’t mean regular binges or frequent treats.

I have to find some other way to deal with the emotional issues.